Allergy Problems

On a recent grocery shopping trip to Walmart, I was browsing the new summer sunscreen display, picking up bottle after bottle, checking the ingredients list, and putting it back on the shelf. Spray sunscreen is so convenient but with my avobenzone allergy, I haven't found any I can use in years. I was thrilled, then, to find a brand I hadn't seen before on the shelf and not see avobenzone on the label. I sent my mom a photo of the ingredients label and we decided I should give it a try, so I bought two, one of each of the Alba Botanica spray varieties, the next time I was at Walmart.

Raising fair, blue-eyed children, my mom started sunscreen almost from day one. When I was in kindergarten, she bought a new sunscreen and, like every day, lathered me head to toe. I broke out all over in a red, itchy rash and from then on, we always put "allergic to Parsol in sunscreen" on the school and camp medical forms. When I was older, we stopped seeing Parsol on labels and learned to look for its other name, avobenzone, instead.

Amazed at my discovery of avobenzone-free spray sunscreen, I was eager to try it out but soon broke out in a rash on my arms and then legs. I thought maybe it was from sitting outside at McCalister's in the pollen-laced wind the other day. But since the sunscreen was the only new factor, I decided to Google the ingredients I wasn't familiar with, starting with the longest, scariest sounding name: butyl methoxydibenzoylmethane. I couldn't believe what came up on my screen:

Are you kidding me, Alba Botanica?! While virtually every other sunscreen manufacturer in America uses the word avobenzone on their labels, you thought you should use butyl methoxydibenzoylmethane? Does it make your "happy planet" brand easier to sell?

So don't mind me as I go about my life with this red, itchy rash on my arms and legs for the next few days (and hopefully not weeks). At least now I know I am allergic to avobenzone aka Parsol aka butyl methoxydibenzoylmethane. Hopefully it doesn't get renamed again anytime soon. 

So Much Anger

People are so darn angry lately. Since when does your having a different opinion than me mean I should not spend time with you, not be friends with you, not listen to what you have to say? People who refuse to hear opposing views and take in new information must be so insecure in their beliefs. If you are so sure your belief is correct, you should not be threatened by having opposing views expressed. Why is it, then, that opposing views are squashed, their believers not even allowed to attempt to make their case? 

Clearly the answer is that people are not secure in their beliefs and are concerned that if others hear a different opinion, they will change their minds. Humanity benefits from the input of each individual, however insane you may feel they are. When you disallow a controversial speaker, unfriend someone on Facebook over a post with which you disagree, or become angry when someone expresses an opposing view, what you are really announcing is that your beliefs are so fragile that they cannot hold up to the scrutiny of the opposition.

Are you even interested in finding the very best answer out there or are you more interested in saving face? When a politician you tend not to agree with says something you think is illogical, I bet you denounce their argument; would you speak up if a politician you like made the exact same statement? You can and should point out flaws in anyone's arguments; it shouldn't matter who the person is.

As for me, I'm interested in pursuing the truth and the best solutions. I have my opinions but I try to welcome the opportunity to be proven wrong and be open to changing my opinions based on new information. If I begin to doubt my opinion after hearing a different view, that's not going to stop me from letting my friends share their opinions; more likely, I'll start to wonder if perhaps my opinion wasn't right in the first place.

We have some huge problems facing our country and our world today and yelling, name calling, and unfriending don't solve any of them. Not only must we be willing to truly understand the other person's point of view, but we must also be willing to accept new information and adapt our opinions accordingly. Let's learn to swallow our pride and look for the best answer, even if it's not the one with which we entered the discussion. Let's remember the humanity in each of us as we attempt to make our world a better place for all of us.

Santa Claus Is Not Coming to Town

Tonight at CrossFit, a classmate asked if I had plans for Christmas. I had previously told her I wasn't sure if I was going home and when I told her that no, I didn't have plans for Christmas, she invited me to come hang out with her family. I eventually explained that I don't have plans for Christmas because I'm Jewish. She laughed and said the invitation was still good, and I thanked her.

As she was preparing to leave the gym after working out, she came to hug me and said, "If I don't see you before, Merry Christmas... Oh! Not Merry Christmas..." I told her I'm not one of those people who is offended by "Merry Christmas"; why would I be offended when someone is giving me nice wishes?

The thing is, I'm 23 years old now.

Image via http://www.clipartlord.com

Rewind a few years and I'm 5. Having attended a Jewish preschool, kindergarten was perhaps my first exposure to Santa Claus. In afterschool care one day, a classmate announced that his new shoes were from Santa. Like most other five-year-olds, I believed in Santa, but unlike most other five-year-olds, Santa did not come to my house. I was maybe a little jealous but mostly remember feeling baffled that Santa would know what size shoe to bring. I used to go to bed on Christmas Eve praying that Santa would come, but he never did.

My next Santa-related memory was two years later in second grade when we were given an assignment to write a letter to Santa Claus. Now keep in mind that I was still a Jewish kid whom Santa didn't visit, but I was only seven and still unsure about how exactly Santa worked. What was I supposed to say to this magical man who gave presents to all my classmates but never to me? My family was often told that Santa was not a religious symbol; fine, but that didn't change the fact that he came to my classmates' homes and not mine. My mom was volunteering in my class one day when we had computer lab and the teacher had her typing students' dictated letters. When it was my turn, I just came to her and cried.

When dealing with the "December Dilemma", it is so important to realize that children and adults will react differently. As a teenager and now adult, I will do just about anything Christmas-related if it's something my friends or non-Jewish family members invite me to do with them. I'll go to Christmas services at church, bake Christmas cookies, or help decorate a tree. While I don't put a tree or lights in my home, I am happy to celebrate with loved ones. I even dressed up as Santa Claus for Halloween my junior year of college!

Today if I were asked to write a letter to Santa, it would be a goofy activity that I would have lots of fun with. I am secure in my Jewish identity and I know that presents from Santa really come from parents. But as a seven-year-old, writing a letter to Santa was a truly traumatic experience.

From elementary school me to any teacher or caregiver deciding if a holiday project will be fun for all her students, please consider those in your class who do not celebrate Christmas. What is designed to be a lighthearted, innocent activity may be utterly confusing for some students. Christmas is a beautiful holiday and any extra sensitivity is not to take away from that, but rather to protect young children who cannot yet comprehend how to be non-Christian and still enjoy Christmas activities.

One Human

Human Value Chart

Julie is a single mother of 4. Because of family instability, she barely made it through 10th grade before dropping out of high school. She currently works 35 hours a week as a cashier and cook at Wendy's and makes $7 per hour.

value of Julie.......................................................................................ONE HUMAN



Jake is a CEO of a major corporation and works a lot, sometimes over 70 hours per week. He and his partner Jim live in a house worth $1.2 million. Jake has a PhD in marketing from UT Austin and makes $600,000 per year.

value of Jake......................................................................................ONE HUMAN



Juan snuck into the United States illegally from Mexico two years ago and has been doing manual labor on a private farm for $3 per hour. His girlfriend is still in Mexico with their young son and Juan sends money to support them whenever he can.

value of Juan......................................................................................ONE HUMAN



Theresa worked as a prostitute at a brothel that also dealt heroin. She tried to stay out of the drug side of the business but inevitably got caught up in it and is now serving five years in a low-security prison. She wears an orange jumpsuit seven days a week but has no regrets about her life choices that led to this point.

value of Theresa.................................................................................ONE HUMAN



Person X is X years old. (S)he works for X company and makes X dollars per hour. Person X has X family members and lives in X with X. (S)he practices X religion and is a member of X political party. (S)he spends free time doing X. Person X uses X for transportation, has X medical issues, and has been arrested X times.

value of Person X...............................................................................ONE HUMAN



And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
Genesis 1:27 (Jewish Publication Society, 1999)

School Days

I just found this cute poem and thought I'd share. I'm disappointed that there is not a date on the paper but based on the handwriting I suspect I wrote it in 9th grade or later.

Image via http://www.berkeley.k12.sc.us

You start formal school when you're just five years
Filled with excitement and hope, but also fears

You show up with your mom or dad on that very first day
Ready to work hard but mostly you just want to play

Your backpack is so big and your new shoes squeak
The world is a big place and you're feeling quite meek

Soon you become accustomed to your school and its ways
After all, it is now where you spend most of your days

Before long you're eight and third grade is starting
You no longer fear leaving your parents since you are used to the parting

You've grown taller and morphed into a kid
You no longer look as little as you once did

Your learn cursive this year, as well as math and spelling
But that great big playground is still so compelling

More years pass and now you're eleven
Finally moving to middle school seems like it will be heaven

Sixth grade starts and you're ready for a change
But your new middle school seems so strange

You're still just eleven and the big kids are fourteen
You smile at them and hope they won't be mean

You learn to work your locker and are excited to see
That many of your friends also have Lunch B

Branching Out

My mom has one sister and my dad has two brothers. When I was born, I was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My brother was born when I was not quite 3 and my uncle's two daughters were born when I was 7 and 9, respectively. My mom's sister did not have children and neither did any of her three first cousins nor my dad's mom's brother, so I have no first or second cousins on my mom's side and no second cousins through my paternal grandmother. My dad's dad's brother and his wife did have three children and each had 2-3 children of their own. So in summary, I have a grand total of 1 sibling, 2 first cousins, and 7 second cousins, as well as 2 step-first cousins and 3 step-second cousins, quite a small family by most standards.

I've been a little sad about this for some time. I have friends who have several nieces and nephews and I see pictures on Facebook with the grandparents and their umpteen grandchildren posing together at a reunion. We don't have that in my family. My mom's dad has my brother and me and my dad's parents have 4 grandchildren. Including by marriage, I have 2 aunts and 3 uncles.

A few years ago, in an effort to consolidate the various paper family trees my parents have as well as to help remember to whom I am related and how, I made an account on a genealogy website and plugged in the information from the trees. I now have more than 400 people in my online tree and recently realized I have a lot of third cousins. While the offspring of my parents' siblings total just 2, the descendants of my great-grandparents' siblings are numerous and I have not even found all the names yet. Sure, we don't share a set of grandparents or even great-grandparents, but we do share a set of great-great-grandparents and every person in the infinite number of generations before that, and to me, that still means family.

Just this week I have taken to Facebook to connect with more relatives. I am so excited to be in touch with many of my and my parents' first, second, and third cousins and their children. Did I really think I came from a small family?!

Being 23

I was just a 4th grader when then-23-year-old John Mayer released his album Room for Squares but now, upon rediscovering a few of the songs as a young adult, I've realized Mayer's album, and three songs specifically, perfectly epitomize many aspects of my own experience as a 20-something.

My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
What a boring story, Sarah. Why did you share that? Couldn't you tell by one minute in that she wasn't interested anymore and was just politely nodding, hoping you'd hurry up and finish?

I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
And I did it again. Gosh, why do I even try talking when I'm just bound to end up saying something stupid or offensive?

'Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
I graduated with a Bachelor of Individualized Studies degree when I could have finished the Bachelor's in Elementary Education if I had stuck around for another year and a half. I'd be done this December! But now I am starting a master's program in education and will still be certified to teach. Did I make the better choice?

Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down
I go to work, pay my bills, feed the dog, clean the bathroom, go to the gym. Just don't mind the weeds in the yard or the dead flowers on the dining room table.

Welcome to the real world
She said to me condescendingly
Take a seat, take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Whatever happened to the four-year plan I made at a grade-wide meeting with our parents in 9th grade? Ah yes, I switched schools the very next year. And the kinesiology degree plan I spent hours studying both in my dorm and in my advisor's office? I guess that too became obsolete when I changed my degree plan two years into college.

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real word
Just a lie you've got to rise above
Five years out of high school and what do I have to show? I have a bachelor's degree, so I guess that's something. My parents still support me financially while I continue my education. Some classmates have spouses, children, or summa cum laude degrees and work at salaried jobs or are in medical school or MBA programs. But while it's temping to compare myself to my peers who are doing subjectively better or worse than I am, I know that none of that really matters; we are each valued at one human, no more and no less.

And all of our parents, they're getting older
I wonder if they wished for anything better
My parents have two children, a 23-year-old education student and a 20-year-old EMT student. Nearly the past quarter century of their lives has revolved around us. Is this what they wanted? 

I am invincible as long as I'm alive
We get behind the wheel of a car for the first time at 15 or 16 thinking we're absolutely invincible. Only several years later when we'd probably need a third hand to count all of the friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends who have been in a major car crash or are dead from drug overdose or suicide do we realize we humans are so very, very fragile.