I'm nearly 26 and have no children. I live alone, just my dog and me, and work a full-time job. You see, I know I'm not ready to have children, because I know the following to be true: From the moment you find out you're pregnant, or that your wife/fiancé/girlfriend/hookup buddy is pregnant, you become second to another life. This is how it must be.
I see kids every day whose parents do not understand this concept.
It means switching out the vodka and beer to water or iced tea when you're out at the bar with friends. Do you not realize that your drinking and drug use affects your growing child? Or do you just not care?
It means deciding if you will raise the child yourself or place him or her for adoption. Do you not realize you're not ready for a child and that he or she would have a better life being raised by adoptive parents? Or do you just not care?
It means finding a stable home in which to raise your child. Do you not realize that moving from place to place affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means making peace with your child's other parent. Do you not realize that your nasty relationship with your ex affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means putting your dating life on hold. Do you not realize that leaving your child home alone to go spend the night with your boyfriend affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means staying out of jail. Do you not realize that being unreachable affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means finding a way to feed and clothe your child. Do you not realize that using your welfare money for your own entertainment affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means enrolling your child in school and being involved in his or her education. Do you not realize that your apathy toward education affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means protecting your child's innocence. Do you not realize that the people and activities you allow around the home will affect your child? Or do you just not care?
It means protecting your child's physical safety. Do you not realize that letting your six-year-old ride in the front seat with no seatbelt affects your child? Or do you just not care?
It means being present and interested in your child's life. Do you not realize that your lack of knowledge of your child's friends, teachers, and activities affects your child? Or do you just not care?
Having a child means your happiness comes second. Your fun comes second. Your comfort comes second. Even your health, safety, and wellbeing come second. As a mother or father, this is your job, your sacred duty. There is no other way.
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