Just What I Needed

I don't usually believe in divine intervention. OK, that might be a little misleading; I don't believe in divine intervention. The God I believe in is not one who swoops in to save one person while simultaneously letting someone else die. People die because germs attack their body or because their car happens to be the one the drunk driver hits, not because God lets them die.

I feel this way about less serious situations as well. I have friends and acquaintances who pray or ask for prayers before a big test or job interview, and while I absolutely respect their beliefs, that's not how I think God works. God gave me a brain that works, but that is the extent to which I believe God is involved in my test outcomes. Whether I study or not is up to me and ultimately that will be the biggest factor in my grade.

Last night, a song came into my head that I hadn't heard in awhile. I typed the line of lyrics that kept replaying in my head into Google and subsequently found the track on Spotify. The tune is catchy and I listened to the song several times before heading off to bed.

When I woke up this morning, my body was immediately pumped full of adrenaline. I had my second astrobiology midterm in an hour and a half and didn't do great on the first one. I got some studying in the night before but was still less than confident. I had trouble getting going with my morning routine because I was so anxious.

image retrieved from http://jewishrock.com/music/

Then I remembered the song I had been listening to the night before:

Where will my help come from?
My help will come from God, maker of heaven and earth.
-Esah Einai by Dan Nichols
Based on Psalm 121

I turned the song on and was amazed how quickly a calm fell over me. Everything was going to be alright. I replayed the song probably four times as I got dressed and ready for school. As I got on my bike and headed to print my homework and then to class, I kept the song in my head. It was in my head as I sat down in class, and it was still in my head as I walked out of class after successfully completing the exam. The combination of soothing melody and comforting lyrics was just what I needed this morning.

This line from Psalm 121 is something I can believe in. In his book When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Rabbi Harold S. Kushner suggests that one's belief in God should not go against their common sense. My common sense tells me that if I don't study, no amount of prayer is going to make me ace a test. But this line doesn't say God will ace the test for me; it says God will be my help. God will be there with me as a take the test, not doing the work for me, but just being there, cheering me on, calming me down, helping me focus. I like that idea.

P.S. I have been checking online almost neurotically looking for a spot in a certain mini-semester class that filled before I was able to register. I kept waiting for a spot to open from someone dropping the class. Today when I logged onto my student account, there was one spot available. The randomness of the universe was good to me today.