Being 23

I was just a 4th grader when then-23-year-old John Mayer released his album Room for Squares but now, upon rediscovering a few of the songs as a young adult, I've realized Mayer's album, and three songs specifically, perfectly epitomize many aspects of my own experience as a 20-something.

My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
What a boring story, Sarah. Why did you share that? Couldn't you tell by one minute in that she wasn't interested anymore and was just politely nodding, hoping you'd hurry up and finish?

I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
And I did it again. Gosh, why do I even try talking when I'm just bound to end up saying something stupid or offensive?

'Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
I graduated with a Bachelor of Individualized Studies degree when I could have finished the Bachelor's in Elementary Education if I had stuck around for another year and a half. I'd be done this December! But now I am starting a master's program in education and will still be certified to teach. Did I make the better choice?

Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down
I go to work, pay my bills, feed the dog, clean the bathroom, go to the gym. Just don't mind the weeds in the yard or the dead flowers on the dining room table.

Welcome to the real world
She said to me condescendingly
Take a seat, take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Whatever happened to the four-year plan I made at a grade-wide meeting with our parents in 9th grade? Ah yes, I switched schools the very next year. And the kinesiology degree plan I spent hours studying both in my dorm and in my advisor's office? I guess that too became obsolete when I changed my degree plan two years into college.

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real word
Just a lie you've got to rise above
Five years out of high school and what do I have to show? I have a bachelor's degree, so I guess that's something. My parents still support me financially while I continue my education. Some classmates have spouses, children, or summa cum laude degrees and work at salaried jobs or are in medical school or MBA programs. But while it's temping to compare myself to my peers who are doing subjectively better or worse than I am, I know that none of that really matters; we are each valued at one human, no more and no less.

And all of our parents, they're getting older
I wonder if they wished for anything better
My parents have two children, a 23-year-old education student and a 20-year-old EMT student. Nearly the past quarter century of their lives has revolved around us. Is this what they wanted? 

I am invincible as long as I'm alive
We get behind the wheel of a car for the first time at 15 or 16 thinking we're absolutely invincible. Only several years later when we'd probably need a third hand to count all of the friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends who have been in a major car crash or are dead from drug overdose or suicide do we realize we humans are so very, very fragile. 

This Is News?

One of the big stories on social media today is the following: Abby Wambach Kisses Wife After Win. Yes, after the USA won the Women's World Cup, Wambach ran to the stands to find her wife and give her a kiss. But my question is, why is this news? Isn't the point of the gay rights movement for gay people to be treated the same as everyone else? If teammate Alex Morgan publicly kissed her husband after the big game or Carli Lloyd kissed her fiancé, would that be major news? I think not.

There is nothing noteworthy about Abby Wambach kissing Sarah Huffman yesterday. The fact that the media latched onto this special moment between partners and turned it into such a big deal means that they have missed the point of the gay rights movement- or at least whatever gay rights movement I am behind. I simply don't care whether someone is gay or straight. I see sexual orientation as just one small piece of each beautifully complex human being with traits such as kindness and honesty ranking far higher in importance than sexual orientation.

Abby deserved to be in the news today, but not in a frivolous story about a kiss. Is sexual orientation really the most important component of this internationally acclaimed soccer star? My hope is that someday, instead of being all over the news the next day, a kiss after a big win might just be left as a personal moment between an athlete and her biggest fan and that the media might focus their attention on things far more important than a star's sexual orientation.

SCOTUS Gay Marriage Ruling: We Missed The Real Issue

Hooray, gay marriage! That's what I've been seeing all over social media today. And no, I'm not upset about the Supreme Court ruling. I believe sexual orientation develops similarly to handedness (being right or left handed) with some combination of genetics and environment and is largely unchangeable. It's not the ruling that is wrong; it's the fact that this issue even had to come up in the first place.

Where in the Constitution is the government given any authority over personal relationships and marriages? Hint: The answer is nowhere. Therefore, the government's issuing of marriage licenses to anyone, opposite or same sex, is unconstitutional.

Gay Americans want the same legal perks that heterosexual Americans have in marriage: tax advantages, homeownership, hospital visitation rights, end of life decisions, etc. But why are these rights tied to marriage in the first place? There should be neither legal perks nor disadvantages to being partnered and/or married; all of the legal advantages currently given to married couples should be available to everyone. Both single and partnered individuals should be able to identify an emergency contact to make critical healthcare decisions in case of incapacitation. Any competent individual(s) should be allowed to adopt a child. Why is being legally married necessary for any of these scenarios?

Let's leave the defining of personal relationships and marriage to religious institutions and individuals and their family and friends. It is unconstitutional to give legal perks to heterosexual couples that homosexual couples cannot enjoy. It is also unconstitutional to demand that a clergy member officiate the wedding of two men or two women or that a caterer serve at a gay wedding.

In summary, get the government out of personal relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual. It has no constitutional right to be there.

Tips for Picking A Baby Name

With so many names from which to choose, naming a baby can be overwhelming. Fortunately, these tips will assist you in choosing a name that is just as original as your little bundle of joy.

Image via http://cliparts.co/cliparts/6cy/XRE/6cyXREMEi.png

1. Avoid choosing a name that was in the top 100 last year. Remember, you want your child to be original.

2. Check the top names list from 1900 and steer clear of any name that was in the top 500, or even top 1000 to be safe. You're having a modern baby, after all!

3. Check the spelling you are considering. If it's the most popular spelling for the selected name, your child may struggle with individuality later in life. Even the second most common spelling might put your child at risk. Choose a creative spelling to help ensure a high self confidence for your child throughout his or her life.

4. Consider inventing your own name! Look around you; what do you see? Maybe a couch, table, some bowls? Use your surroundings as inspiration. Any of these could be amazingly creative names for your newborn.

5. Choose a name that is more common for the opposite gender than for your child's. If you are having a boy, ideal names include ones that were given at a rate of at least 90% to girls as of the most recent statistics available. However, do not choose a name for your son that is listed as being given 100% to girls last year; you don't want your child to be bullied later on!

6. Take a fairly common name and individualize it by changing the first consonant sound. Many parents are choosing names that rhyme with "Aiden" lately, such as Brayden, Hayden, Kayden, Jayden, Layden, or Zayden. However, to be most original, insert a less common consonant sound at the beginning, such as Dayden or Yayden. This formula can be used to individualize a variety of fairly common names, such as changing Sophia to Tophia or Nathan to Mathan.

With these tips in hand, you are sure to pick an amazing name for your baby! Just always remember to come to open house at the beginning of each school year to instruct your child's teacher on how to pronounce your child's name.

Spirals

I took this photo on May 28, 2012. Today is May 28, 2015. How did this photo happen to come to mind today? Facebook. Freakin Facebook. Normally I like to see what "On This Day" has pulled up for me, but not today. Not this photo.

I took this photo on my way to my summer job at a camp in Colorado. What a summer. It was a good experience with its ups and downs but ended sourly. Anger. That's what this photo reminds me of. That job is no more.

You can see my car in the photo. My 1999 Camry. The one that I rolled and totaled about 18 1/2 months after this photo. Terror. That's what this photo reminds me of. That car is no more.

That morning I said goodbye to my dogs Mali and Scout not positive I would ever see Mali again. She was already sick by then, although doing fairly well. She did make it through the summer but died the following spring just after her 13th birthday. Sadness. That's what this photo reminds me of. Mali is no more.

I took this shot because the scenery was breathtaking. That scenery is breathtaking. Who would have thought that seeing this photo three years to the day it was taken would make me feel anything but awe? But that's not how it makes me feel.

Red Sand and Mud

I wrote this for my AP English Language and Composition class in 11th grade. I believe the assignment was related to a poem we read in class but I don't remember the details.

Red Sand and Mud

I’m from Velcro shoes and monkey bars

From riding bikes in the street until dark

I’m from two percent milk and pretzel sticks

From sunscreen and bright colored socks

I’m from Mavis Beacon and Putt Putt Moon

And from tennis at Highpoint with Dad

I’m from the mulberry tree and the hiking area

From the red sand and the mud

I’m from play dates and swimming lessons

From the parks with their appointed names

I’m from Lunch Bunch and Campfire

And reading in the den with Mom

I’m from family Shabbat dinners and religious school

From the ’87 Camry and the bomb

I’m from library cards and state quarter collections

From snow boots outgrown before being worn

I’m from moments long gone

And memories that are distant

I’m from a simpler life that is behind me
From times I can just remember

News Flash: Your Workout Program is Not Better Than Theirs

Since the middle of January, I have been going to CrossFit four times a week as my main exercise. I'm having a lot of fun with it and getting stronger each week, but despite my excitement, I have been hesitant to tell lots of people about it. Why? To explain, let me tell you about some imaginary people's workout routines:

Alice goes to an hour-long yoga class every day before work (5 mornings per week). On the weekends she enjoys spending time with her kids playing in the backyard and going for family bike rides.

Nick plays on a competitive soccer team in the city league. His team practices four evenings a week and has at least one game most weekends.

Christina is a busy full-time mom who spends the first part of every morning getting her older kids off to school. Several days a week during her toddler's nap time, she puts him in the stroller and goes for a two-mile walk.

Joseph is into powerlifting and has won several local competitions. He trains five days a week with other serious lifters perfecting his form and increasing his lifts.

Mark goes to the gym three days a week and spends thirty minutes on an elliptical machine followed by thirty minutes of weight lifting on strength training machines.

Lynn runs fifty miles per week, including a long 15-20 mile run on Saturdays.

So the question is, who has the best workout routine? And the answer is... it depends on the person! Is her workout program helping her keep her objective health numbers in check, such as blood pressure, cholesterol, bone density, and body fat percentage? Does he enjoy his workout routine rather than viewing it as an unfortunate chore? If the individual can answer yes to these questions then it's a GOOD program! Everyone has different starting points, from morbid obesity to already quite fit, different goals, from winning national tournaments to reducing or maintaining body fat percentage, and everyone has different amounts of time to devote to their program.

So yes, I do CrossFit. Does that make me better than any other exerciser out there? No. Do I enjoy doing CrossFit? Yes. Is CrossFit the right program for everyone? No.

Let's worry about our own workout programs and stop demeaning others who have chosen different routes to staying fit and healthy than we have. Calling CrossFitters "crazy", serious lifters "meatheads", people who primarily do cardiovascular exercises "cardio bunnies", etc., has no place in the fitness community.