"No, you're not that powerful," my mom told me, "you're not that powerful".
On Monday night I received multiple texts and emails about my 86-year-old grandfather who had suffered a TIA, also called a "mini stroke", and was spending the night in the hospital. He and my grandmother live nearly 1,000 miles away from me, so I was powerless to be of much assistance. He arrived home the following afternoon with no complications but was soon severely sick due to some new medication he had been given. My grandmother took him to the doctor today and his medications were sorted out. Now he is home and fine, but because he had a TIA five years ago and another one this week, his risk of full-blown stroke is much higher.
After processing all of this, I remembered something I had been thinking just a month or so ago: Wow, my grandfathers are 86 and 87 years old and are both still alive and in relatively good health. How lucky am I! After recalling these previous thoughts, another thought hit me: Did I do this? Did my thoughts of gratitude just weeks ago cause my grandfather to go through this turmoil of medical complications the past few days?
And then I remembered a conversation I had with my mom several years ago. It was over something similar; I had been concerned that I had caused something bad to happen with my thinking. "No, you're not that powerful," she assured me. And while recently the thought did cross my mind that I somehow did this to my grandfather, I have since remembered that while my thoughts, hopes, and prayers are important, they do not "jinx" the universe and cause bad things to happen. I'm just not that powerful, and for that, I am grateful.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Through the Eyes of a Child
I have a new phone and it sucks. Yes, that is a very "first world problems" thing to say, but it's the truth. I had the same flip phone for over two years, and while I was admittedly sometimes envious of my friends sporting smartphones that put all of the knowledge in the world right in their pockets, I was very happy with that phone. As is to be expected, it broke a few months after its exciting second birthday and I switched to my dad's old phone which happened to be the exact same model. That phone had already seen better days by the time it got to me and it broke after about six months. The next upgrade on our family plan for me is in April and I have been planning for quite awhile to use it to get a smartphone. So, to avoid spending hundreds of dollars, I reactivated an old phone that's been lying around the house.
This phone was really cool. It's one of those "TV phones" from four or five years ago. It was my brother's, then it was mine, and then it was no one's for two and a half years as it lay in my parents' house. Now it's mine again. Text and graphics on the screen are difficult to decipher, especially in the sun, because it is so beat up from use. It turns off randomly, sometimes when I'm in the middle of typing a text message. It's a working phone and for that I am grateful, but it's nothing exciting and I can't wait to get rid of it in April.
Last night I was out for dinner with friends and happened to run into a family whose children I babysit. They have two boys, ages 11 and 8. I went over to their table to say hello and was quickly bombarded by a request to show their mom my "new" phone. The boys had both seen it the day before when I was driving them home from school. Before I had a chance to find my phone, the younger boy had already discovered it at the other end of the table and snatched it. He and his brother excitedly showed it to their mom, who ooohed and ahhhed supportively. They were bubbling with excitement over this awful old phone. Everyone my age has probably seen a phone that spins open the way this one does, but to them it was brand new and SO cool.
Getting to see and experience life vicariously through the eyes of children is one reason I have chosen to work with children in nearly every job I have ever had and am studying to become a K-8 teacher. I've seen the Grand Canyon, ridden a horse, and built a snowman. Never again will those experiences be new to me. I've already lost my first tooth and had the training wheels removed from my bike. I will never experience these big moments again. But by spending my life working with children, I get to experience infinite firsts and the excitement that goes along almost as if each was really happening to me all over again. What a perspective.
This phone was really cool. It's one of those "TV phones" from four or five years ago. It was my brother's, then it was mine, and then it was no one's for two and a half years as it lay in my parents' house. Now it's mine again. Text and graphics on the screen are difficult to decipher, especially in the sun, because it is so beat up from use. It turns off randomly, sometimes when I'm in the middle of typing a text message. It's a working phone and for that I am grateful, but it's nothing exciting and I can't wait to get rid of it in April.
Last night I was out for dinner with friends and happened to run into a family whose children I babysit. They have two boys, ages 11 and 8. I went over to their table to say hello and was quickly bombarded by a request to show their mom my "new" phone. The boys had both seen it the day before when I was driving them home from school. Before I had a chance to find my phone, the younger boy had already discovered it at the other end of the table and snatched it. He and his brother excitedly showed it to their mom, who ooohed and ahhhed supportively. They were bubbling with excitement over this awful old phone. Everyone my age has probably seen a phone that spins open the way this one does, but to them it was brand new and SO cool.
Getting to see and experience life vicariously through the eyes of children is one reason I have chosen to work with children in nearly every job I have ever had and am studying to become a K-8 teacher. I've seen the Grand Canyon, ridden a horse, and built a snowman. Never again will those experiences be new to me. I've already lost my first tooth and had the training wheels removed from my bike. I will never experience these big moments again. But by spending my life working with children, I get to experience infinite firsts and the excitement that goes along almost as if each was really happening to me all over again. What a perspective.
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