Let It Go

I'm a happy, goofy person. I like to joke around, I love to be with people, and I love life. So it's been a shock to realize that lately I've not only been angry and grumpy but that I'm taking it out on unsuspecting and undeserving victims. In order to be happier and more pleasant to be around, I need to adjust my perspective and, at risk of sounding like a Frozen character, let some things go.

I need to remember that my worth as a person is unrelated to what I can or cannot do, what others think of me, or even what I think of myself. I'm inherently valuable as a human being, made in the image of God. Nothing I or anyone else does, says, or thinks can make me more or less deserving of being on this earth.

I need to stop worrying about people who do not want to be in touch with me, whether I've tried to email or text them and they don't respond, they don't accept my Facebook friend request, they don't follow me back on Instagram, or they've blocked me on one or more forms of digital communication. There are too many people in my life who endlessly love and support me for me to focus on those who do not want to be part of my life.

I need to let go of traumas of the past. I've been viciously bullied, I've been fired from jobs, and I've been cut from teams. I've also graduated from high school, college, and a master's program, had many successful summer and long-term jobs, lived on my own since I was 18, gone to Israel for ten days with a group of 40+ strangers, and so on. Everyone has failures; I'm not special in this area and keeping a tally of failures is not a good recipe for future successes.

I need to forget about mean people. When people say and do nasty things to me, there is something wrong with them, not with me.

I need to differentiate between constructive feedback and comments that are just plain mean. Being told I need to fix something, whether at work, at the gym, or with family and friends, does not mean I'm being told that I'm not a good person, a great friend, a caring teacher, or a loving family member. It's not fair to assume everyone who tries to help me is being mean just because a small percentage of people are mean.

Finally, I need to suck it up. The world does not owe me anything. Some things in life are harder for me than they are for others. Sometimes things don't work out in my favor. Sometimes people are mean. So what. There is so much I can and will do.