So Was I Helpful?

I was in the gym with my group of rowdy and highly competitive day camp boys. My co-counselor and I have many 8-year-olds and also some 7-, 9-, and 10-year-olds. The kids were playing Star Wars, a version of dodgeball that they absolutely love. I, on the other hand, always vote against playing this game because almost every time we play, at least one kid ends up crying. Today was no exception.

I didn't really see what happened but suddenly one of my boys was crying. I have a few boys who will cry if someone so much as pokes them, but this crier wasn't one of them. I saw him storming off to the side of the gym just as my CIT's were stopping the game due to arguing. (Like I said, Star Wars never seems to turn out well.)

The crying boy made it to the side of the gym and angrily punched the door to an adjacent office. Wanting to help him calm down while avoiding getting hit myself, I stood behind him and reached over his shoulders, grabbing his hands. This is my go-to move for upset kids as it both restrains them and feels like a big hug.

"Calm down, buddy," I whispered to him, "if you hit someone, you'll have to go to the office."

He soon ceased to seem dangerous so I let him go and we sat down against the door he had just hit.

"What happened?" I asked, but he was still fuming and did not respond. After I asked a few more times, he responded by informing me that he didn't want to tell me what happened because I would not be able to help.

"Try me!" I countered, knowing I would almost surely be able to help solve this dilemma if I knew the details.

He continued to insist I would not be helpful and that it wouldn't be worth it to "risk it".  This went on for a bit. Then I remembered that I had seen a certain other child push the crier so I asked if that child was involved, already knowing he was. I suppose this led to my gaining his trust as he then told me which other boys were also involved. We walked to the nearby camp office where I sat with the four of them and let each tell his version of what happened. We eventually came to a peaceful solution and left to go join the rest of the group.

As I walked with the boys from the camp office to our group's classroom, I looked over at the original crier, who was still visibly upset and holding back tears.

"So, was I helpful after all?"

"Yes," he admitted and broke into a grin.